FIFTH HOME MADE BLOG
CRAZY PEOPLE AND ME
In this world there are all kinds of people but, than again there is this one, the always going to kill somebody person. They never hurt a fly but, always going to kill somebody. As mark twain said one time if this person was going to kill you --- you could expect to live to be about a hundred.
Think about it don’t you know one of these always going to kill somebody people, I bet most people knows at least one of them. You know the type that every time you see them they got a new person they are going to kill. But, they never even have a cross word with anybody little along hurt them. Why do they do that kill people all the time thing you think???
The other day I was talking to this person and he said man this new medicine they got me on is driving me crazy. he had my attention instantly. I remember thinking at the time I bet that is a short drive through the park. In this same conversation he had already threaten to kill about a dozen different people that are all still walking around perfectly healthy.
So after he said that about the medicine me being me I just had to ask, what they got you on it for bufford, he said panic attacks, I remember thinking I know I should not but, I can’t help it. Messing with crazy people is just fun to me. Seeing as to how I know them so well and having been there all my life understanding them. But, then again I know all the right buttons to push too. i also know that panic attacks are not fun, are a bad thing and you don't have to be crazy to have them, but, i this case the crazy is largely by choice.
So sinful and wrong as it was I begin to mess with his head, after I ask him about the medicine and listened to the list of former medicines and such. I also ask him about his ex wife, that one is always a sure thing with crazies. So he commenced to carry on about her for about about a week and I was loving it. Sick ain’t it.
But, slowly I stirred ( I don’t mean steered either) him back on the medicine trail. I ask him just what happens when you have one of them attacks. Now bear in mind he had already near to had killed by this time so many people that bodies was everywhere and I had forgot where we was on the subject.
But, anyhow I ask him, he said well, I start by just getting sort of shaky, then my hands begin to act sort of like I am swimming, then I begin to groan and sich, then my legs shake ,(sort of like them dancing wood people on a stick as near as I could tell), than after while I get really violent and you better watch out for me when I am like that. I was thinking taking an occasional glance in your general direction at any time ain’t a bad idea either.
Man, alive I about died on that then i get violent one. all the person had done in the whole talk was kill imaginary people. Now all this was wonderfully funny to me but, there was a time are too, there it was not so funny. Every so often he would look at me sorta like he might be measuring me for a coffin. Funny would sort of slack of some then. But, I am still here so after awhile he went on and so did I perfectly alive.
Another time at a funeral home I met this women, now let me tell you she was laughing school finishing school for the slowly creeping backwards crazy. Just my type so I begin to talk to her she begin by telling me about all the medicines she took and had took. Then she launched into how she hated her kids, which I understood that one because I could not stand them either and largely figured they was to blame for her condition.
But, any how she told me things that even I was surprised to hear, did you know how many ways there are to peal an apple. Well, after awhile my sister come up and we went home. She ask me in the car why do you provoke crazy people. I said I don’t provoke them I understand them. The next day my sister went to the funeral I did not. Well, as the family of mourners was going down the center of the church. This lady stopped the whole thing and loudly ask my sister if I was there. My sister said you know I just though I had been embarrassed before in life but, obviously I had not, until then. Now one thing I want to say is this hurting people and people grieving is not funny and not what I mean here.
Mental problems and the real thing is not funny, I know I have been there a lot. What I am talking about here is them people that don’t know if they are washing are hanging out. Crazy by choice I guess you would say.
I use to think it was bad funny to look behind people that I was talking to, not just once but, over and over again. If you ain’t tried that one just for fun do it, the best way is to not change you facial expression, nor do anything different just ever little while talking to them look behind them. Then after you get them spooked start to shake your head like you are signaling somebody behind them. The most stable person on earth won’t be for long.
Oh, there is a whole list of fun things to do to people like that. Like for instance when somebody calls you ------ now they called you and you are supposed to say hello??? Well, don’t instead of answering with hello. Say this hello can I speak to david? It will totally and absolutely unbalance the other person. I heart this comedian saw to do that one time and man how good it works.
One time my wife’s brother in law was in a drug treatment center well, his calls was limited, his wife, my wife’s sister had come to see her. Well, he knew she was there. So he used one of his calls to call her at our house. The phone rung, I answer with hello? Like a question you know, then ask if I could speak to david. He just went all to pieces it seem that there must have been some form of unstableness in his life and had took all his sense of humor with it. He started to I don’t know cry are something, just went all to pieces. When he could he begin to tell me as people that you pull this one on will do. His life story and all about how he just wanted to talk to his wife.
Well, I said ok, I will put her on for you. He could not somehow get the full meaning of all this and was not helped by the offer. So I just handed her the phone. She spent the rest of his limited call telling him that there was not a david here are there. Something about the name bothered him I reckon.
Well, for about a long time after that my wife and his wife begin to tell me how unfunny it was. In them days we did not have caller ID so how was I to know it was him. Everybody was fair game, but, then again I did not see anybody holding my hand all them Sunday mornings I woke up feeling like somebody buried and empty box.
There is another well, really there are lots of other, kinds of off center people. The one I am thinking about now is the I beat up the general in the army, I can push a chain lair types. Do you know any of them. I use to know this one person that was in the army. Now it was not of his choice at all, but, after he got out. He could not stop lying. But, to be honest he was just that big a lair before that army. It is just that the army gave him some new fodder you might say.
He would tell them old stories that would go one for hours about beating up generals and such and how he won the war, the only problem was he never saw a war in any form. Then there is the chain pushing lairs. Now you can’t push a chain, but, these people will tell all them stories about how they one time, it is always one time. But, how they lifted a two ton truck off a hurt person and how thankful the person was. Now I guess the person was thankful who would not be thankful to have a two ton truck lifted off of them. But, the chain pusher won’t just tell you that story once they will tell it so much that long ago they begin to believe it too. All their children do too and some neighbors.
But, the problems is they never tell it the same way twice and I don’t mean for the color of something. It will be in Africa one time and the north pole the other.
One time me and my wife went to see about buying this grinder as a result of an add in the paper. When we got there it was a grinding wheel on a washing machine motor. Now there is nothing wrong with that but, the person was a out of control lair. In the short time we was there he told us that he was a preacher, a lawyer, a law man worked for the FBI and the CIA, he was a carpenter, plumber, rock mason and a preacher again, now he may have been these things but, in the time we as there he changed it at least fifteen times. When I could get him to listen I ask him if he would sell the attachment of the motor and the grinding rock, he did for six dollar and went right back to lying about how the president called him at least twice a day. We could not get away from him at all, as it turned out he had that same add in the paper every week for that same grinder and we was just this weeks special guest.
I will tell one more story and then stop. One time in Blairsville ga, I went to this store parked the truck and was walking up to the side walk, well, here come this man and no matter how much I went faster are slowed down me and him was going to meet at the same time at the exact same place on the side walk. Well, we did, at that exact time, to the second he said to me, yea, I pulled a good one on and old boy the other day. He said yea, he had been calling the house aggravating my kids. I told them the next time he calls here give me the phone. Now you need to know that I did not know this man from Adams house cat. But, that did not bother him. So he said well a little later he called them again.
He said so I got the phone and I told him boy what do you think this is four foot of snow and the woods on fire. He then told me, that’s a good un ain’t it, I said yeah, he said that is a good un ain’t it, again I said yeah, this went on plumb in the store and after I bet he told me ten time that’s a good one ain’t it and each time I told him yeah, finally somebody else looked at him and I slipped off, forget about what ever it was I went in there for, I could live with out it are we still would be considering and I quote ------- that a good un ain’t it.
Thanks for reading this and considering my ways, i would be so happy if you would sign the book, billy.
FOUR HOME MADE BLOG
My sister mentioned to me why don’t you write a home made blog about some of them insane bizarre dreams you have. So after hardly thinking about it at all I decided that was as good a thing as any I guess. So here goes.
I have always been a serious dreamer, both awake and asleep. Because to me there is very little difference. In the day time I will catch myself standing somewhere in a sort of daze with this whole thing going on in my little brain. Now it is not a day dream it is exactly like a dream in the day time. That also is where a lot of the ideas I have for painting and such comes from. Like I say for better are worse.
As a child I always heard that if you dreamed something three nights in a row it would come true. Well, I don’t know about that because a lot of what I dream comes true anyway. But, this one time I was in the fourth grade what ever age you are then. Well, I dreamed that this booger creature was coming through the window in the bed room. He would get almost all the way in and I would see him and then I would wake up. I dreamed it for two nights in a row the exact same dream, the third night I was afraid breath little along go to sleep. But, finally did go to sleep and did not dream it again. So one me Booger nothing.
Boy, you talk about relief; there are not words for it. Right about that time I got the measles, by which I got phumenoia in both lungs, my other parts was in bad shape too. For a long time I was unconscious, I mean for a day are two. I wound up in the hospital, trying to die. The doctor told my parents he is in bad shape, if he lives until morning it will be a miracle. Now again I had a lot more wrong than just phumonia, but, that one would have been enough.
During that time I lapsed into a dream world, but, not like a regular one. I was out of my body and was nowhere and everywhere. There was no up are down, no time, I just was. Travel was by the speed of thought, as I was saying there was no up and down ----- just away from here, type thing you know? It was wonderful; there was no pain, no fear, no nothing just everything, that was no where. Now I was in the forth grade in school. I had no idea about all this out of body stuff I have heard so much about since. What I was experiencing was not a copy of anything it was real. I was told by this spiritual person that I was straddling the line between this world and the spirit world. Still tethered to a physical body but, just baely. I don't know about all that but, I do know that when I come out of my dream world. I was in a world of hurt. All them shots and the like. In a very short time they give me 22 shots and all them needle things. It was like rolling out of warm bed into a hornets nest.
I was out of school for a month and sick for nearly that long, it took a long time for me to get strong enough to even walk after I started to get better. In my dream time I would talk to people I did not know; see things that did not exist. But, also I would see thing in this world too. For one at school the teacher had moved the desk and several other things. When I went back it was exactly like I had known it would be.
I am telling this story about the dream time for a reason. After that time I was never the same. People would as they still do talk about how weird I was. Now how come something we don’t understand is always seen as weird? If is it weird that I can read you like last weeks newspaper two minutes after I meet you are is it just handy.
Is it weird that I can sense when people are hurting and why, are is that just kindness.
But, weird or not, I am just me and dreams are my chariots.
SIX FOOT BEAVER
I love my wife JJ with all my heart soul and anything I got, but, we are about as different as any two people can be and still be human. My nature is like throwing up a hive of bees and catching it with you head. Hers is very organized and in order. So I guess that is why this dream is so funny to me. It is bad enough that a person like her has to deal with my spastic nature little along trying to understand it. But, this dream put it all in to focus.It will make more sense when you hear the dream.
One night I was dreaming about all kinds of things then I was suddenly standing on this mountain side. Now i was standing there but, it was not exactly the regular me. The difference was I was a six foot tall beaver, not a person in a beaver suit; no I was a six foot tall beaver. Now that along was funny enough, but, the best part was me the six foot tall beaver was standing there on the side of the mountain, little or rather large beaver paw stretched/flung out singing to the top of my lungs to the whole world , the song my way.
About 75 feet down the mountain sitting there with her head in her hands was JJ, with this look of oh my goodness how can it get any worse. But, the whole funny part of all this is ---that is exactly how it has been so many times in our time together. Not only does she not understand me she is still trying to figure out when will I get beamed back up to the space ship.
Like the day I come in and right out of the blue announced that I was not going to work any more that I was just going to paint pictures and that was all. Are like the first art show I had, all them bizarre pictures on the wall, people talking, exclaiming, fainting, swooning and taking the vapors. So the real truth is the beaver thing was not that much of a shock to her, I think she was getting use to it, by then.. I mean a six foot beaver would be handy to have about the yard and such.
But I wish you could have seen me as a beaver man, I was ready for Vegas.
MILLARD FILLMORE
MILLARD FILLMORE
A few nights ago, I dreamed that I was dealing with Millard Fillmore’s secretary to Japan. I had his medicine bag; it had Japanese writing on it. The dream went on and on but, still now just how many people dream about Millard to start with little along his secretary to Japan.
MY SISTERS PET FISH
MY SISTERS PET FISH
My sister is not an animal person, she just ain’t I never have known her to hurt any animal really she just don’t but, then again she ain’t in the market place trying to give then dogs away either. One night I dreamed that she had a five foot long catfish now he was a find a cat fish as I have ever seen and I have seen a lot of them. He had big blue eyes and followed her around everywhere she went. The last time I say him before I woke up. her and him was in the water just standing there looking sad and then I woke up.
THE STEER
Me and JJ use to live in this apartment I was of great effect on the general population as a rule. I still do sometime but, then I was the worse at it to wake up having them screaming dreams, I mean blood curling dreams. I will say some more about that later.
Here is the steer dream. I was dreaming that this steer was around where I was and was just sort of upsetting to see. Then he started to chase me now I have been chased by a lot of cow, bull and such. Usually I don’t run but, this time I did. I was running and then I saw this lean to style building. Touching the ground on one side and a bout ten foot off the ground on the other. Well, steer in hot pursuit I ran up on the building and at the last second jumped to the side and he went over the building. Killed him dead are so I thought. I went down there to see him and he looked dead, then suddenly he jumped up with this wild eyed cow sort of look. I did a perfect snap kick to his head and was instantly awake.
SO was jj. I was glad to know it was just a dream but, JJ was not. She was sitting up in the bed holding her leg just a moaning something awful. I said what is the matter, she between words of describing my general heritage and birth within or out side of wedlock. you crazy fool you broke my leg. It seems that it was not a steer I had kicked it was her little leg, right in the calf of the leg to be exact. I was very sorry about that --- that was never the intend of steer kicking.
Now it took her by total surprise her being asleep as she received the kick. So along with the pain comes a suddenly surprise. She had no idea what had happened. But, when she did and it did not take long she really begin to beat me about the head and shoulders with a strong desire to understand.
SCREAMING DREAMS
Now for the screaming dreams. I never was in a war unless you count my childhood, pay day and Saturday nights. It has always been a mystery to me how I can be so peaceful awake and so violent asleep. But, I have always had them fighting dreams, now days JJ just jumps out of the bed and wakes me up from a distant. But, when we lived in this apartment. One night I had this terrible dream and woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. Poor old JJ about had a heart attack, sort of like going from a deep sleep to the beach landings. When I finally got stopped screaming and was awake. THere was dogs barking everywhere and the people next door which with the paper thin wall could here anything going on in our place just like we could them. But, I heard the mama say to the little girl, I don’t know what it is honey but, it will be ok.
You know we never had any company the whole time we lived there ---- never could figure that one out.
PRESIDENT
One night when Clinton was president my sister dreamed that the president died and nobody could remember who the vice president was.
Ok, i guess that will do it for now, but, check back for more later. on any subject that over takes me. with all my heart i appreciate you reading this. it is part of my treatment and you just would not believe how much progress i am making, billy.
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This web site was last updated: November 1, 2009
